Noah's Ark

Note:  This occurred in early June.  No WiFi and utter exhaustion to blame for posting in such a tardy manner...

Sadly, there are no photos for this post, but I thought it would be worth posting an email that John sent to our friends after a few days at the lake.  Let me just say that before this "incident", there was a wasp sting, ants and fleas that we dealt with, and after this "incident", there was a racoon that ate the bait (a chicken sandwhich) and managed to get out of the trap, a trapped housecat (it was hacked off) and a B.I.G. brown snake. 

Enjoy!

Well, Tracy and I have actually enjoyed being at the Lake House for the last few weeks, and we miss all of you but wanted to pass along a fun story of lake house living. Just so you don't think we sit and drink wine every night on a boat watching the sunset.

We were laying in bed last night, and we could hear a family of squirrels chirping at each other as they each found a soft bed in the attic.  Just like a normal family, you could hear the babies playing and mom/dad barking at them to go to sleep. Even though it felt like they might fall in on us, it was good to know where to send the pest control company that is coming today, and we fell asleep once they settled down to bed. But that isn't the end of the story...

So about 4am, I start to have a bad dream about children screaming and being harmed in all sorts of ways. As I wake up, I hear what sounds to be the cries of 5 small children underneath my bed. It wasn't a sort of "I am hungry" cry. It was a "I am about to die" scream.  I am not going to lie, it was one scary sound to wake up to and a weird feeling to think, who put a bunch of babies under our bed?
The next thing I hear in the pitch dark is a vicious cat species absolutely growling and hissing as it attacks these small children, which turns out to be a family of bunnies under the house. Somehow the squirrels hear the action up in the attic and start barking warning calls, and making mad dashes all over the ceiling in different directions. Tex (our dog) thinks the ghost squirrels of "Christmas Past" are all coming to get him and he whimpers and growls at the same time. As I sit in bed it is like a Jeep safari on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. My lovely wife sleeps through all of it and by all of it, I mean she didn't even budge. So the squirrels are chirping and barking. Small bunnies are slowly picked off one by one underneath the floor throughout the house, each screaming worse than the poor Fatal Attraction movie bunny and my masculine guard dog thinks it is a plot to get him AND my wife is STILL sleeping.

So we have Noah's Arc living in the house right now and I am sincerely wondering how Noah got all those animals on the boat and how in the heck did his wife sleep every night. I figured out the wife part, that isn't hard, but animals living in harmony is a tough one to get over. At least the cat is full, and ole' Tex might have a shot at catching him on his potty break this morning!
So say a little pray for Peter Rabbit, because it didn't turn out so well for him, but Tracy did get a good nights rest. And I must admit, (and only the guys will get this) I put my head on my pillow with blood chilling screams underneath me thinking: "Once more into the fray, into the last good fight I will ever know, live and die on this day, live and die on this day." Trust me, goggle "bunny screams audio" and it will take you right back to that movie. I wouldn't suggest this for the faint of heart.

So, just another relaxing day at the Lake House and the realization of the brilliant marketing of life insurance policies by Mutual of Omaha. I wonder if they underwrote "the Grey" movie? Screaming bunnies must be in the sequel next summer.

Love,
John